The Costco Song

I picked up the guitar and started singing all those old folk songs American’s love, like The Hammer Song etc. I realized they were all all labor songs from an era that has passed.

They do not seem relevant. So I wrote a song about modern life.

Pilgrims in Search of a Deal.

The Costco Song is more about how we live our lives today, how abysmal the experience of going to Costco really is, the promise of a bargain only means we acquire more than we can consume, more than we need at the register, and much if it goes bad in our garage.

Its a kind of Hell

COSTCO is sort of the Anti-Nordstrom. A horrible shopping experience, no help, just on your own no matter what. Carts fly about as their pilots are desperate to escape with massive quantities of consumer goods marked “Kirkland”.

As I was just about to publish this song the coronavirus struck. I had heard stories about what Costco looked like since the outbreak, but when my Dad innocently suggested we visit the store to buy razor blades we were not prepared for the mayhem. Oh the humanity.

Here are the lyrics if you want to sing along:

 

Lets all go to Costco..

Let’s buy more than we need…We’ll load it up in our SUV’s

It will go bad in our garage.

Let’s all go to Costco…

Let’s buy 1000 batteries…our children will inherit these,

Coronavirus Panic Buying, Water, Soap, Toilet Paper

They’ll turn green in our garage.

Gluttony is a sin, but we over consume. We will stop buying, when we run out of room….

Lets all go to Costco…

Let’s line up for gasoline.. Shell and Chevron are beyond our means,

We can’t park in our garage.

 

 


4 thoughts on “The Costco Song

  1. this catchy new tune may fit into a new musical category – The Ridiculous Truth – that of course will be banned by those who have now made a law so they can make us listen to what they want us to listen to. and reminds me that I ‘ve also written a couple of tunes that would be in your play list. Welcome to Lemmington comes to mind, and How Dare You.. oh the list goes on. Can’t wait to hear your new tune Mark. be well my friend! F

    On Fri, Mar 6, 2020 at 7:34 AM Lawyers Road Review wrote:

    > markpattersonlaw posted: ” I picked up the guitar and started singing all > those old folk songs American’s love, like The Hammer Song etc. I realized > they were all all labor songs from an era that has passed. They do not seem > relevant. So I wrote a song about modern life. ” >

    Like

  2. Too funny! Great commentary/intro to your wonderful song. Sadly, all too true and relatable.

    Even though the nearest Costco is over 100 miles away in Boise, many folks here in McCall plan monthly trips.

    I can’t imagine a worse way to spend a day. I save time and frustration by ordering stuff on Amazon (no driving, no checkout line, no people). Maybe that will be the topic of your next folk song 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply to markpattersonlaw Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.