I had been having some discomfort, and mentioned it when confirming a teeth cleaning for next week last Friday. Dr. No got me in right away for an exam then, and scheduled the procedure in a fortnight; the prescription: root canal.
I didn’t think much of it really, just a bit of pain in an upper molar on the right side. Apparently there was a lot going on under that tooth, Dr. No and his assistant Miss Taro gasping with astonishment at the blood that came spouting as the first drill cracked under the crown. There were three holes in all, according to the x-ray I was shown after the procedure.
I flinched only once, I am not sure what Dr. No did to create the reaction, which was completely involuntary, a reaction I thought my training would have precluded. Even as the curl of smoke drifted above my head and burning enamel filled my nostrils during the drilling I remained completely calm.
There are all sorts of tools, goo, smells, and at least twice I saw a Bunsen burner being passed around. Dr. No has this magnifying device he looks into as he works and the lens on it, I noted after a while, showed the reflection of my tooth isolated by the rubber dam. I thought of Jean Claude Van Dam. There was a lot of blood.
The worst of it was after about an hour I really had to pee.
I was given Novocain during the procedure and about 800 mg of Advil at the end. I have more pills here at Skyfall, but I believe I will stick to vodka martinis,
shaken, not stirred because I am
PS. Our Senior Partner N had a similar procedure today.
2 thoughts on “Nerve Die: James Bond’s Root Canal”
I was going to call to see how your were feeling today, but judging by your entertaining post, I think you’re doing fine. In the future I will warn patients that root canals fill bladders.
–Feeling Sorry For Chris Columbus, Dr. Jim “No”
Perhaps a root canal in the 15th century would be easier than the treatment Columbus is getting today.